"Save the date..."

"Mawwage. Mawwage is what brings us together today...and wuv, true wuv!..." If you cannot name this movie, please go, and watch it now. Princess Bride=classic. After last week's post, I am sure everyone is on edge of this week's topic. Engagement and marriage of course! Lately I have been invited to multiple weddings and recently took part in planning a wedding for my oldest brother and new sister in law. Let me be honest, wedding planning is kind of crazy and busy. I will spare the details...what is it about the proposal though, that it is so important and a special moment in one's life? For the man: he is proposing the idea to the lady of marriage. Even though it should be discussed beforehand, it should still be a surprise! This process of preparing for a proposal should most definitely involve the family. Mom and dad's approval is necessary, especially if it is their one and only baby girl(my bias opinion). Family involvement is very important in preparing a couple for marriage. 

Think of marriage as a system or diagram. If I could draw it out, it would make more sense but let's see if I can explain it in words. There are boundaries set between a man and woman and each of there families. The point of these boundaries are to show differences and limits set between the man and woman. With the idea of marriage, the boundaries are changing and are adjusting to the relationship between the man and woman. The parents of both the male and female play a role in the system. The man's parents are set in a separate sub system on his side and the woman's parents are in another sub system on her side. The boundaries or borders between the man and woman should grow closer together and become one while the parents' systems are more off to the side. When a couple gets married, they become independent, together. 

Still during this time of engagement, a lot of planning and preparation should be taking place. However long the engagement is, 2-3-4-5 months, the boundaries in the family system are changing as well. While parents are so willing to help with their child's wedding day, that day is for the bride and groom. Yes, there is that classic story of the "bride-zilla" who controls every part of the wedding planning. Generally there is planning on both sides where the dress is paid for, the food is planned out, and the reception/party is way out of budget. It happens. I have seen it and TLC has proof as well. This preparation is suppose to be fun and both the engaged man and woman should be apart of the planning. And not just the guy saying, "oh yea hun, looks good" or "sure, whatever you want." The planning for the wedding and LIFE after marriage should be taken a little more seriously and more thought out.

Now it's the wedding day! One of the most memorable days for all in attendance. With experience from my brother and sister in law's wedding, it was so simple and perfect. The theme and setting fit them and who they were. I hope they don't mind I share a little about how I felt about the wedding and them as a couple. They both planned out the wedding so well and wisely. They both knew what they wanted and what the plan was for the future. A marriage is meant for two people, man and woman who are in love, and are prepared to work. Marriage is not easy-I am just going off of what I have seen and learned. You do not marry perfection, you marry someone who makes YOU want to be better. I have seen that in my brother and his wife. They complete each other-in that real cheesy phrase. But in a real way. After 2 months of marriage, my sister in law shared that she has learned more about patience that she did not know would be this way when they were dating and preparing for their engagement and wedding day. My brother said something that I think hits all points. He said(and I am paraphrasing), "I have learned to love her more. Not the physical or emotional love stuff. But the love that brought us together in the first place and the infinite love I have for her. Protection, love, and charity. That is what I have learned and know I will continue to learn for eternity." Their love, my parents love, and many couples I have seen and learned from, have been a huge influence on me. I know it is true, sincere love and watching out for each other that makes a marriage last forever.