I hate to see this semester end so quickly. There have been many great lessons learned and inspirational discussions. This may or may not be my last blog post...but we'll see where life decides to take me in the next few months. Over this course, I have learned many valuable lessons on the family unit, family systems, and relationships. My personal thoughts at the beginning of the semester was, "Okay, yea families are important...what else am I gonna learn?" Okay, maybe that was a slightly negative attitude towards the course. Now I look back and want to take this class again, and spend more time discussing specific topics and issues on the family. It has been fascinating!
This week, our class discussions have been focused towards blended families, divorce, and remarriage. Sure, there are many factors behind what causes a divorce, but my focus is how we can have a successful marriage (if the first one did not go as planned). I may not be old enough to remember John Wayne movies, but the Brady Bunch and Full House are close, right? The concept of these TV shows is to show a "modern"(back up a century ago*chuckle*) day blended family. The Brady Bunch tells a story of a woman and her children and a man and his children who get married and join families together. Also a few years ago, the movie Yours, Mine, and Ours came out with a similar situation but with a much larger family. One of my favorite shows growing up was Full House. The show is about a dad who has 3 daughters. His wife passed away and his brother in law and a best friend move in to help him raise his daughters. As the story continues for about a 7-8 year time period, the uncle gets married and has 2 sons, the dad starts to date again, and their neighbor still drops by to visit. These shows all share some common themes. There is a parent either divorced, widowed, or step families. At the end of the shows or movie, there is always a nice little lesson to learn about working with families, building relationships, and family love. It is oversimplified. Not all of the pieces of the story are present.
I probably have the least amount of knowledge about how step or blended families work. But I have seen many examples and close friends/family experiences to know that these type of situations are tough. The shows and "reality" TV we see, are not always true. Losing a spouse has probably got to be one of the most painful experiences a human being could go through. You grow to love and cherish that person then the next thing you know, they're gone. The amount of pain is indescribable. Divorce. Why would that ever seem like an easy process? Sounds like too much more work and a bigger hassle to deal with. Addiction problems? Oh I am sure there is no such thing on television (said very sarcastically in my head). Adjustment to a new family, different behaviors, personalities, and a whole new family system. It's like moving to a new apartment with 6 girls from 6 completely different backgrounds and 6 different daily life routines. You might have to adjust your shower time.
These changes are hard to go through and adjust in a whole new world. To make a remarriage successful, learn from the past and improve others' lives to improve yourself. Sure we made mistakes or we were offended in some way. It is our choice what we do with the opportunities ahead of us. What a wonderful gift we have been given. We can choose to do good or evil. Choose to play with real grass or pretend to be the grass. Choose to divorce or fix the issues before. I hope this makes even the tiniest sliver of sense. In our everyday situations, we can strengthen those around us to build a strong family unit. There are missing pieces to the television shows. Don't hide yours. Use them to better your relationships.
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